Saturday, August 8, 2009

My husband was going through the pictures in the camera and came across the picture of the page of Izzy. He had two things to say about it.
1. The book is about me and not about her. So he don't think she should be in the book. Hello!! Isn't my daughter part of me. Does he not realize that even though the book is about me it's a book for her.
2. He thinks that Izzy might find it odd that I have the pictures of her even though I don't know her. Like she might be freaked out. I found the pictures in the yearbook. I didn't camp outside her house and school and snap pictures. Now maybe that would be creepy. So my question is if you all were in Izzy's place would you find the fact that I have pictures of her weird?

I met the Pastor and his wife and sat with some of their family members at a different church and was with them during the service. It was a very moving time for me. I felt like the Pastor was talking to me about bitterness and anger and stuff. I agree with him that being biter don't help anyone, but how do you let go of the hurt and anger of losing a child? Right now, my Mom actually makes me feel ill. I am not sure if it's because she made me place my daughter for adoption or that she just plain ignores me. I will probably meet up with him and his wife for counseling again. Part of me feels selfish, because I am putting my needs before the marriage counseling. However, my husband and I are still getting along much better than before.

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